Why not use your SUPER POWER that is you, to express yourself the way you want to? To be the real you without hesitation, apologies or judgement? Yet we so often hold back on doing something because we’re worried about how it might come across, or we find ourselves thinking about what someone else might think about something we’re doing or wearing? So many of us do and you’re definitely not alone. Wanting to fit in and get the approval of others is pretty natural but that isn’t to say that it’s always a healthy desire.
Worrying about what other people think of you can have a big effect on your self esteem and can be pretty destructive. According to research – hang onto your hat for this one!!!!! – we tend to overestimate how often we’re thought of by other people and how negative these thoughts are – hard to believe isn’t it? And sometimes, we convince ourselves that people will think badly of us when this isn’t actually the case at all – isn’t that a kicker!!
Our worries may not be in line with true reality but the stress and anxiety that they create can be very detrimental for mental wellbeing. At its worse, it can be completely self destructive. Worrying less about how you come across to other people is really important from a self love perspective. I want to reiterate that we create our own truth – what we tell ourselves, we actually end up believing!
Here are some tips to help you to achieve it:
Don’t judge yourself
It’s often true that worries about other people are actually triggered by how you see yourself. If your beliefs about yourself are negative, you may be expecting to see them reflected in the actions of other people and this can be at the root of your worries.
Showing yourself more love is a crucial first step in worrying less about other people and it can mean that you don’t need to seek approval from others at every turn. (yes, self-care actually makes a difference!). If you can treat yourself the same way that you’d like to be treated by other people, it can start to break the desire to get approval from them. This is where self love becomes really important. Once you can stop judging yourself, you can channel your energies in more positive ways.
Move away from cultural norms
Do you feel that you have to act in a certain way for people to like and accept you? Cultural norms can fuel worries about what other people think of you, especially if you’re not following them to a tee.
If you want to stop worrying what other people think, it can be really smart to break away from the idea that you have to fit in with the crowd (high school days are over). Give yourself permission to live how you want and not how you feel you should. If you answer to anyone at all, make it yourself. Focus on how you can be a better version of yourself, rather than trying to please others.
Because mindfulness is all about being in the present, it can be great for filtering out the past and the present. Most of our worries about what other people think of us is focused on things that have already happened or that may occur in the future.
If you practice mindfulness regularly, you’ll get really good at keeping your attention on the present and what is happening right now.
Fulfill your passions
Channel your energies into doing things that make you happy and bring you personal fulfillment. As an added bonus, you’ll come into contact with people who share the same interests and passions as you. You’re likely to feel more comfortable in this situation and crucially, show your natural self. When you’re operating from a place where you feel really good about what you’re doing, you’ll worry less about what other people may think as you’ll know that you’re doing what is right for you.
Be more ‘other centered’
We often define ourselves through our relationships and this can mean that we’re caught up in how other people see us. It’s only natural to want people to like you but putting so much focus on it can cause stress, anxiety and self doubt. This can be picked up on by other people, which can affect the quality of your relationships and the friendships you’re able to build.
One way around this is to have an ‘other centred’ approach to your relationships. In a nutshell, this just means being compassionate and kind towards other people. Knowing that your actions are genuine and that you have the best intentions makes it easier to stop worrying how you will be received by others.
You can’t always control how people will behave towards you or how they will think but adopting an ‘other centred’ approach gives you the compassion to recognize that it’s less about you and more about them. If you can’t control it and you know you’re not to blame, why worry about it?
This is so key to loving yourself just as you are. So to help you out I have a free download called “Self Care in 20 Minutes or Less”. I give you tips, activities and reasons why self-care is so crucial in boosting our energy and productivity and helpful is alleviating the frustration of life and worrying about what others think. Here’s the link and this it’s FREE!
Transformation, Freedom and Joy!